Giants

​On the shoulders of giants, I’ve found to be a view like no other.  A vastness of lands that stretch to the furthest reaches of our vision.  On the shoulders of giants I see my past, riddled with mistakes in the form of mirages.  These hallucinations of things we had thought to have perceived that did not exist.  Mistakes that form oases that we had not seen but wish we did.  On the shoulders of giants we see the futures, paths that we will follow, oceans we must cross.  Guaranteed, we will struggle.  We will fail.  But failure is the growth that has created our giants.  Our failures have created the rungs on the ladder of which we climb and sit atop success, as we peer at the horizon of opportunity.  On the shoulders of giants, before us and presently, we stand tall and proud.

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One thought on “Giants

  1. “To be” in the first line is unneeded.

    “It sees” – as in the giant? Because the first sentence sets up the second sentence as if it’s supposed to be about that view you saw. The second sentence should also be written in the effect of “seeing other dimensions” that normally one cannot see. To bettee connect the ability to se the past and future.

    Instead of riddled- maybe dotted? As in the mistakes dotted the land of what is your life/past. Sentence will need to be rewritten for that imagery.

    “These hallucinations we” – this sentence needs to be reworded or just removed since it is just a definition of the word mirage.

    “We will struggle we will fail” – to be continued with (to the effect of) “on our path” so that it connects with last sentence of previous paragraph.

    The idea of mistakes in the beginning and the idea of failure in the end do not make sense. Mistakes were part of the view then these mistakes become failure which then become not part of the view but now the “material” that made giant AND the rungs on a ladder on the giant? Maybe I’m not getting something.

    The use of “Our” is confusing in the end. In the beginning you are talking about your own past riddled with your mistakes then now it is a shared past?

    Overall great concept! Terrible execution.

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